"Somewhere in the distance, you can hear seagulls."
- Opened Can of Wellcheers' Entry
Opened Can of Wellcheers (F-05-52), also known as Wellcheers, is an Abnormality composed of a flashy grey soda vending machine and two humanoid guards that resemble shrimp, wearing gray overalls and yellow boots. The vending machine dispenses a free soda branded "Wèllcheers" upon the emptying of the drink dock, effectively making a drink always available.
It is notable for its position: Instead of being centered behind the cautionary line, it stands in the corner. It is one of a select few Abnormalities that differ from the standard position.
Its Ability will always triggered when finishing a work. The employee will go to get a Cherry, Regular, or Grape soda from the vending machine depending on the work and drink it afterwards. Depending on the type of drink they got, the employee will recover:
- Cherry ( Instinct Work): heals 40% of the Max HP.
- Regular ( Insight Work): heals 40% of the Max SP.
- Grape ( Attachment and Repression Work): heals 30% of both HP and SP.
If the employee drinks the soda after a Bad Result, the Agent will fall asleep on the spot. Shortly afterwards, the shrimps will move closer while moving their arms, as a large wave, sometimes carrying a fishing boat, will fill up the containment chamber, and according to the encyclopedia entries, the employee will be brought to a fishing boat. After the wave fade away, the Agent will be considered Dead.
Based on an urban legend, the representation of Opened Can of Wellcheers' origin is unknown in game, but where the urban legend says that people go missing after drinking of an opened can of soda that contains sleeping pills. It is hinted in Story that it was created by the company a long time ago. Said product was around the company previously for an unknown amount of time and used by certain higher-up members.
Like all Abnormalities, its energy output is determined by the number of PE Boxes (Positive Enkephalin boxes) at the end of the interaction.
Opened Can of Wellcheers' emotional state is divided into 3 sections: Bad, Normal, and Good. Completing 0-4 E Boxes will cause it to feel Distressed, completing 5-7 will cause it to feel Normal, and 8-10 will make its mood result Happy. Its usual waiting time after a task is around 10 seconds.
Unlocks the percentage level list to the respective work.
- "Managerial Tips 1"
- "Upon completion of the work process, a canned beverage is discharged from the vending machine. The type of beverage that is emitted seems to vary in correlation with the work type."
- "Managerial Tips 2"
- "<Test Result W-1> A red drink can is emitted. The employee who ingested the beverage said it had a distinctive aroma and sweetness, and expressed a feeling of heightened energy after. Following the test, the physical health of the subject was confirmed."
- "Managerial Tips 3"
- "<Test Result W-2> A blue drink can is emitted. It contains an odorless liquid that is highly carbonated. It has been found to be effective in restoring mental strength."
- "Managerial Tips 4"
- "<Text Result W-3; W-4> A purple drink can is emitted. Its appearance, composition, and taste are exactly the same as other grape flavored carbonated beverages. It has been found that the physical fortitude and mental strength of the ingester both recovered."
- "Managerial Tips 5"
- "<CAUTION> When the work result with Opened Can of Wellcheers is Bad, do not take any drink provided by the vending machine."
Information if the Abnormality can escape or not: "Non Escaped Object"
Unlocks the E.G.O. Gift 'Soda'.
Unlocks the E.G.O. Suit 'Soda'.
Unlocks the E.G.O. Weapon 'Soda'.
<Employees’ Records (Source Unknown)>
"Hey have you guys ever been to one of those Lobotomy meetups?? Mind you, it took a lot of courage for me to bring this up again… You see, there’s a bunch of clubs in this company where employees gather up. I once attended some kinda ping-pong group event thing but there weren’t any girls there so I pulled out real quick lol.
So like, one day I saw this announcement for some weird get-together on the corp message board. I got interested so I called up the group leader and he introduced himself as <Redacted> from Safety.
I asked if there were any girls in the group, and he told me there were a ton of female employees. Now that got me super interested so I signed up right away for the upcoming meetup. So I showed up, got a name tag like everyone else. I don’t remember everything, but I think I saw like three people from Training and two from Information.
About maybe half an hour later, the leader brought in dozens of cans of WellCheers on a tray and gave one to each of us… I should have realized something was wrong cause the can was already opened, but I’m a sucker for soda and I just gulped the damn thing down my throat the moment he passed me a can lmaooo"
"Now after that the leader told us it’s time to move, and he said he got a van rented for us. We all thought he was an awesome guy for that. I hopped in the van with two employees from the horde and one guy from the same dept as me.
Leader said it was gunna take about an hour drive so we could just nap if we wanted, so we did. Weird thing was though, I went to sleep real fast, like real fast. Like, the moment I shut my eyes I was out like a light. I have insomnia but for whatever reason I fell asleep so fast then. Sigh...that was my big mistake.
Anyways, I was sound asleep, but then I heard seagulls, and was like, Wtf??? Seagulls??????? Yeah, at first I thought it was someone’s phone alarm, but then I heard waves crashing. I was like, “man this is way too real to be a phone alarm,” so I opened my eyes to find myself……lying on a deck. I was on a goddamn boat, lmfao. AN ACTUAL, REAL-LIFE BOAT. I knew I was screwed the moment I saw shrimp hopping around. Sent chills down my spine. I wanted to believe it was all a dream but I swear that shrimp’s realistic flopping was a sobering sight. The realization crushed me like a hammer.
And I was surrounded by people who looked like they were the crew. They were all beefed up, it felt like they’d put me back to sleep with force if I said something wrong. One slip and I’d be swimming with sharks."
"The crew was something around 10 people including the captain, boatswain, cook and all that. They all chuckled at me while I was spacing out. The guy who looked like the captain walked towards me and asked me about my height and weight. I asked him when the ship goes to port. He told me it’d be about a month but that I shouldn’t try and run away or anything cause they already made a deal with “my people”.
I had no damn idea who “my people” were but I was too scared to ask. Then the other crew members called me over for lunch. They were making instant ramen, putting shrimp, crabs, clams, and all sorts of other stuff in it. They told me to stop acting like I was about to jump into the sea and to try their ramen. I said no at first, but they laughed at me again saying there weren’t any sleeping pills or stuff like that in it and gave me some anyway. A man’s gotta live, so I ate it. It tasted better than I expected it to.
As soon as we finished lunch they told me they were going to teach me how to adjust the ropes. I pretty much gave up at that point, so I just simply answered “sure…”. All I could see anyways was these little islands that no one would have a chance at surviving on. For a month, I learned how to pull up fish traps, fill bait boxes, repair fishing nets, cook some ramen, get coffee, and all sorts of stuff.
I kept getting better and I got to the point where I could prepare mackerel sashimi and fish stew for the crew. Everyone complimented it. Said I could open a restaurant with that stew. Later on, we went through a couple of typhoons. Them and I started forming some kind of bond. A companionship. Whales were becoming a common sight at that point. Two weeks in, the captain told me I was pretty good and asked me if I was interested in officially joining the crew. When I thought about it, I would have been fired from the Corp anyway, so this seemed like a legit opportunity to make a living. This was the first time I ever got a compliment after all.
What am I doing now? Well, I’ve been promoted and now I’m living fine. I’ve found true happiness in cracking open a cold one after a hard day’s work, covered in sea water and sweat. I’m at the port now but we gotta take off soon to catch some more shrimp. Never know what your future holds, bros.
Sometimes I think about those other folk who were at the meetup that day. Not that I really wanna snoop around to find out though, I just try to keep a positive mind. I wanna say they’re hopefully doing good just like me. Oh, it’s time to sail out, see you guys."
- "The vending machine overwhelms <name> with its shiny neon lighting."
- "Upbeat music can be heard, emitted from the inside of the vending machine."
- "Shrimp are delicious no matter how you cook them. Boil ‘em, fry ‘em, whatever!"
- "Shrimps are delicious no matter how you cook them. Boiling, frying, poaching, whatever you want!"
- "You’re really missing out on life if you’ve never tried shrimp."
- "There’s a rumor floating about that people have been abducted onto a fishing boat after drinking an open can of grape-flavored soda."
- "Rumor says that you might get one of your organs removed after drinking an open can of grape-flavored soda."
- "If someone ever offers you an already opened can of grape-flavored soda, you most definitely should not drink it."
- Before the second observation level is reached, Opened Can of Wellcheers will be called "Wellcheers".
- The Abnormality is a reference to a Korean internet urban myth where people will allegedly go missing after drinking from a sleeping pill-laced opened can of Welch Grape Juice. They will then be abducted and held captives in fishing boats. It can be found in Korean here.
- The 'ad' of Wellcheers where its Portrait comes from, is based from a korean ad running during the 90's, of the coffee brand LOTTE (롯데). Has the translated top description of "This is otherworldly coffee" (이세상 커피가 아니다), with the middle text "Forget all coffee from this world." (지금까지 세상에 있던 커피는 모두 잊어버려).
- Their whole encyclopedia entries is one of the longest in the game.
- Opened Can of Wellcheers appeared in the teaser trailer of Lobotomy Corporation. In the trailer, it looks different from its current in-game sprite. There's a table with a purple Wellcheers on it and 3 guards instead 2. They are surrounding a sleeping employee, and no vending machine was shown.
- This was most likely an indev version.
- "Wèllcheers" is most likely a play on the Welch brand of juice, and cheers being a toast.
- This is further proved by Welch being greatly known for their grape juice.
- The 'Shrimps' guarding the vending machine look more like Prawns than Shrimps. This is further proved by the 'Advertisement' picture having on the top right corner the name: 'Wearenotprawnreallyiswear.inc'