"You turn on your electric hair clipper..."
- You're Bald
You're Bald... (Bald-Is-Awesome!) is an Abnormality taking the form of a white orb with the Korean letter '머'/meo (as in, 대머리/'daemeoli', the Korean word for "bald") in its center, with the upper half of the orb being covered in black, which changes after some events.
Its ability will trigger when an non-bald employee works with the Abnormality. At the end of the work, a flashing light will appear on the employee's head, making it bald and leaving the containment room afterwards, with You're Bald... changing its appearance and starting to move a bit more. If another non-bald employee enters to its containment room and finish the work, the same effects will repeat, except that You're Bald... will have noticeable pattern at top and all the employees and clerks in the same department will become bald. If a third non-bald employee finishes a work with You're Bald... it becomes totally white and all employees and clerks in facility will become bald and after that abnormality will return to its first form. At the end of each day, it will go back to its first form.
You're Bald's origin is not known completely, but is mentioned in its encyclopedia entries that You're Bald appeared in the facility after an employee, who had an 'amazing dream' where all the people became bald, had an "accident" involving Singing Machine.
Possibly meaning that You're Bald was generated from an Employee or was already affecting such employee.
Like all Abnormalities, its energy output is determined by the number of PE Boxes (Positive Enkephalin boxes) at the end of the interaction.
You're Bald's emotional state is divided into 3 sections: Bad, Normal, and Good. Completing 0-1 E Boxes will cause it to feel Distressed, completing 2-3 will cause it to feel Normal, and 4-6 will make it's mood result Happy. Its usual waiting time after a task is around 10 seconds.
Unlocks the percentage level list to the respective work.
- "Managerial Tips 1"
- "You still seem to be keeping your silky hair… You’ve been struck by the Bald-is-awesome! beam."
- "Managerial Tips 2"
- "If you don’t work now, every employee, including you, will lose all their hair and become bald within a month."
- "Managerial Tips 3"
- "It’s not too late. 30... 29... 28..."
Information if the Abnormality can escape or not: "Non Escaped Object"
Unlocks the E.G.O. Gift 'Tough'.
Unlocks the E.G.O. Weapon and Suit 'Tough'.
- "Warning: You have been hit by the baldy-bald psychological attack. If a non-bald person reads this, they’ll be granted the privilege to go bald at an extremely rapid pace. If one wants to stop this from happening, they must be assigned to work on this Abnormality. In addition, if you find 10 or more strands of hair on your pillow in the morning, it is recommended to peruse this encyclopedia article at least three times."
- "Bill: I had an amazing dream today!
- Brian: What, did you win the lottery or something?
- Bill: When I got to work, everyone here was bald! Everyone including you! Maybe even people outside of this corporation!
- Brian: Umm… I think you’ve been pretty stressed lately. Why don’t you go take counseling?
- Employee Bill suffered an unfortunate accident with Singing Machine that day. Right after the incident, Abnormality Bald-is-awesome! appeared in the facility. We all cherish the memories of Bald Bill."
- "If one comes in contact with the Abnormality, they will talk or write about the positive aspects of baldness for about an hour, and ultimately make themselves go bald.
- If you become bald, you can save time because you don’t have to wash and dry your hair anymore, allowing you to be richer than others.
- No adverse reactions will happen if a bald employee is assigned to work with the Abnormality.
- The bald don’t have to worry about hair loss.
- If a non-bald employee is assigned, they will shave off their own hair.
- Bald people can even reflect light off their head and blind their opponents like a solar flare!
- This Abnormality’s goal is to make every single human on Earth bald.
- We won’t need light bulbs in our facility if there are more bald employees, because reflects off their heads. This will allow us to save a tremendous amount of our budget.
- If a non-bald employee is sent to work with the Abnormality, it’ll produce less energy.
- Did you know that every single noble in Europe during the Middle Ages was bald? They’d change their wig everyday!"
- "We’ve just added some new rules to the company code of conduct:
- + If you ever spot a XXX mocking their coworker with alopecia areata, they will be labeled as a hirsute, and will be banned from using the lounge for an indefinite period.
- They will also be forbidden from joining the company’s debate club “Questioners of the absence of bald Barbies”, the gourmet meetup “Octopi over Squid”, and the environmental protection group “Save the Bald Eagles”. (These regulations will be lifted as soon as the rulebreaker’s hair strand count goes below 1.)
- Lastly, I dedicate this article to employee T.H. who is quietly taking balding medicine next to me right now."
- "<name> is starting to feel that hair is just a burden."
- "<name> is beginning to think that having a tattoo on a bald head would be super cool."
- "<name> is taking off their wig because they feel proud of their partial balding."
- "You can look just like Bruce Willis if you’re bald!"
- "Somehow, bald people always look professional no matter what they’re doing!"
- "If you’re bald, you never have to worry about clogging the drain!"
- "So you still have your silky hair?"
- You're Bald could be considered a 'Joke' abnormality, due to its release date (April 3) being near April Fools' Day.
- You're Bald is the only Abnormality without a proper Subject Number.
- The letter on You're Bald is '머', which means '대머리', 'bald' written in Korean.
- You're Bald is the only ZAYIN abnormality that deals Black damage.
- You're Bald produces the least amount of E-Boxes, at only 6.