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"You turn on your electric hair clipper..."
- You're Bald

You're Bald... (Bald-Is-Awesome!) is an Abnormality taking the form of a white orb with the Korean letter '머'/meo (as in, 대머리/'daemeoli', the Korean word for "bald") in its center, with the upper half of the orb being covered in black, which changes after some events.

Ability[]

Its ability will trigger when an non-bald employee works with the Abnormality. At the end of the work, a flashing light will appear on the employee's head, making it bald and leaving the containment room afterwards, with You're Bald... changing its appearance and starting to move a bit more. If another non-bald employee enters to its containment room and finish the work, the same effects will repeat, except that You're Bald... will have noticeable pattern at top and all the employees and clerks in the same department will become bald. If a third non-bald employee finishes a work with You're Bald... it becomes totally white and all employees and clerks in facility will become bald and after that abnormality will return to its first form. At the end of each day, it will go back to its first form.

Bald employees have the maximum WorkSuccessIcon.png Success Rate (95%) when working on You're Bald. They don't have any other effects beside of the changed appearance.

Origin[]

You're Bald's origin is not known completely, but is mentioned in its encyclopedia entries that You're Bald appeared in the facility after an employee, who had an 'amazing dream' where all the people became bald, had an "accident" involving Singing Machine.

Possibly meaning that You're Bald was generated from an Employee or was already affecting such employee.

Details[]

You're Bald has all their Instinct.pngInsight.pngAttachment.pngRepression.png preferences at 'Very Low' with non-bald employees but this change to the highest while working with bald employees.

Like all Abnormalities, its energy output is determined by the number of PE Boxes (Positive Enkephalin boxes) at the end of the interaction.

You're Bald's emotional state is divided into 3 sections: BadResult.png Bad, NormalResult.png Normal, and GoodResult.png Good. Completing 0-1 E Boxes will cause it to feel BadResult.png Distressed, completing 2-3 will cause it to feel NormalResult.png Normal, and 4-6 will make it's mood result GoodResult.png Happy. Its usual waiting time after a task is around 10 seconds.

Unlockable Information/Upgrades[]

Basic Information (Cost: EBoxIcon.png 4 PE Boxes)

Unlocks and shows the name of the Abnormality, subject classification, Risk Level (Risk Zayin.png ZAYIN), portrait, Damage Type (BlackDamageTypeIcon.png Black 1 - 2), the amount of EBoxIcon.png E-Boxes (6) and their emotional state.

Instinct/Insight/Attachment/Repression Work Favor (Cost: EBoxIcon.png 2 PE Boxes)

Unlocks the percentage level list to the respective work.

Managerial Works 1/2/3 (Cost: EBoxIcon.png 2 PE Boxes)

  • "Managerial Tips 1"
    • "You still seem to be keeping your silky hair… You’ve been struck by the Bald-is-awesome! beam."
  • "Managerial Tips 2"
    • "If you don’t work now, every employee, including you, will lose all their hair and become bald within a month."
  • "Managerial Tips 3"
    • "It’s not too late. 30... 29... 28..."

Escape Information (Cost: EBoxIcon.png 4 PE Boxes)

Information if the Abnormality can escape or not: "Non Escaped Object"

Work Level 1 Chance Level 2 Chance Level 3 Chance Level 4 Chance Level 5 Chance
InstinctText.png
Instinct.png
"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

InsightText.png
Insight.png
"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

AttachmentText.png
Attachment.png
"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

RepressionText.png
Repression.png
"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

"Very Low"

(0%)

Observation Level[]

Level 1 (1 Section unlocked): WorkSpeedIcon.png Speed Rate +5

Level 2 (2 Sections unlocked): WorkSuccessIcon.png Success Rate +5%

Level 3 (3 Sections unlocked): WorkSpeedIcon.png Speed Rate +5

Unlocks the E.G.O. Gift 'Tough'.

Level 4 (All details unlocked): WorkSuccessIcon.png Success Rate +5%

Unlocks the E.G.O. Weapon and Suit 'Tough'.

E.G.O. Equipment[]

E.G.O. Weapon Tough
EGOWeaponTough.png
Tough
Grade: Cost: Max Amount: Damage: Attack Speed: Range: Observation Level:
Risk Teth.png TETH EBoxIcon.png 15 3 WhiteDamageTypeIcon.png White
2-4
Very Fast Long 4
Requirements: Bald Agent
Special Information
Details Special Ability
"A glock reminiscent of a certain detective who fought evil for 25 years, losing hair as time went by.

Only those who maintain a clean “hairstyle” with no impurities on their head will be deemed worthy of equipping this weapon.

Perhaps it could even shoot down a helicopter, if used well."

"Only equippable by bald employees or those who have developed alopecia areata"

E.G.O. Suit Tough
EGOSuitTough.png
Tough
Grade: Cost: Max Amount: RedDamageTypeIcon.png RED Defense: WhiteDamageTypeIcon.png WHITE Defense: BlackDamageTypeIcon.png BLACK Defense: PaleDamageTypeIcon.png PALE Defense:
Risk Zayin.png ZAYIN EBoxIcon.png 10 5 1.0
Normal
1.0
Normal
0.8
Endured
2.0 Vulnerable
Observation Level: 4 Requirements: Bald Agent
Special Information
Details Special Ability
"A leather jacket with an unusually luxurious figure.

Only those who maintain a clean “hairstyle” with no impurities on their head will be deemed worthy of equipping this suit.

Anyone who wears this jacket is reminiscent of a certain detective who preferred fists over guns."

"Only equippable by bald employees or those who have developed alopecia areata"

E.G.O. Gift Tough
EGOGiftTough.png

Tough (Eye)

Effects: MovementSpeedIcon.png Movement Speed +2, Attack Speed +2

Drop Chance: 5%

Observation Level: 3

Story[]

You're Bald's encyclopedia portrait

  • "Warning: You have been hit by the baldy-bald psychological attack. If a non-bald person reads this, they’ll be granted the privilege to go bald at an extremely rapid pace. If one wants to stop this from happening, they must be assigned to work on this Abnormality. In addition, if you find 10 or more strands of hair on your pillow in the morning, it is recommended to peruse this encyclopedia article at least three times."
  • "Bill: I had an amazing dream today!
  • Brian: What, did you win the lottery or something? 
  •  
  • Bill: When I got to work, everyone here was bald! Everyone including you! Maybe even people outside of this corporation! 
  •  
  • Brian: Umm… I think you’ve been pretty stressed lately. Why don’t you go take counseling? 
  • Employee Bill suffered an unfortunate accident with Singing Machine that day. Right after the incident, Abnormality Bald-is-awesome! appeared in the facility. We all cherish the memories of Bald Bill."
  • "If one comes in contact with the Abnormality, they will talk or write about the positive aspects of baldness for about an hour, and ultimately make themselves go bald.
  • If you become bald, you can save time because you don’t have to wash and dry your hair anymore, allowing you to be richer than others.
  • No adverse reactions will happen if a bald employee is assigned to work with the Abnormality.
  • The bald don’t have to worry about hair loss.
  • If a non-bald employee is assigned, they will shave off their own hair.
  • Bald people can even reflect light off their head and blind their opponents like a solar flare!
  • This Abnormality’s goal is to make every single human on Earth bald.
  • We won’t need light bulbs in our facility if there are more bald employees, because reflects off their heads. This will allow us to save a tremendous amount of our budget.
  • If a non-bald employee is sent to work with the Abnormality, it’ll produce less energy. 
  • Did you know that every single noble in Europe during the Middle Ages was bald? They’d change their wig everyday!"
  • "We’ve just added some new rules to the company code of conduct:
  • + If you ever spot a XXX mocking their coworker with alopecia areata, they will be labeled as a hirsute, and will be banned from using the lounge for an indefinite period.
  • They will also be forbidden from joining the company’s debate club “Questioners of the absence of bald Barbies”, the gourmet meetup “Octopi over Squid”, and the environmental protection group “Save the Bald Eagles”. (These regulations will be lifted as soon as the rulebreaker’s hair strand count goes below 1.)
  • Lastly, I dedicate this article to employee T.H. who is quietly taking balding medicine next to me right now."

Flavour Text[]

  • "<name> is starting to feel that hair is just a burden."
  • "<name> is beginning to think that having a tattoo on a bald head would be super cool."
  • "<name> is taking off their wig because they feel proud of their partial balding."
  • "You can look just like Bruce Willis if you’re bald!"
  • "Somehow, bald people always look professional no matter what they’re doing!"
  • "If you’re bald, you never have to worry about clogging the drain!"
  • "So you still have your silky hair?"

Trivia[]

  • You're Bald could be considered a 'Joke' abnormality, due to its release date (April 3) being near April Fools' Day.
  • You're Bald is the only Abnormality without a proper Subject Number.
  • The letter on You're Bald is '머', which means '대머리', 'bald' written in Korean.
  • You're Bald is the only ZAYIN abnormality that deals BlackDamageTypeIcon.png Black damage.
  • You're Bald produces the least amount of E-Boxes, at only 6.

Gallery[]

Notice About the Article "You're Bald...":
Are you looking for the old version of this page: You're Bald... (Legacy)
"You're Bald..." is using information from the Newest version of the game (v0.1). The information here is from a newer version of the game including the most recent gameplay changes.