"Oh, when did you shaved your hair, manager?"
"Come back after watching Fast and Furious 7 for more than five times."
- You're bald...
You're Bald... (Bald-Is-Awesome!) is an Abnormality taking the form of a white orb with a symbol on its center, with the upper half of the orb being covered in black, which changes after some events.
Ability[edit | edit source]
Its ability is "Keep Calm and Go Bald", which is triggered by doing work on it with a non-bald employee. Upon entering in its containment room, a flashing light will appear on the employee's head, making it bald and leaving the containment room afterwards, with the orb changing its appearance, decreasing its mood and starting to move a bit more. If another non-bald employee enters to its containment room to perform a work, the same effects will repeat, except that the orb will become totally white and all the employees in the department will become bald. If another non-bald employee do work with You're Bald while in this form, it will return to its second form and do the same effects of that state. At the end of each day, it will go back to its first form.
Bald employees doesn't have any other effects beside of the changed appearance. When a bald employee finish any work with You're Bald, it will produce a great amount of energy and increase its mood.
Origin[edit | edit source]
You're Bald's origin is not known completely, but is mentioned in its encyclopedia entries that You're Bald appeared in the facility after an employee was sacrificed to Singing Machine, who had an 'amazing dream' where all the people became bald.
Caretaking[edit | edit source]
You're Bald will only allow bald employees to work with it, and any kind of work will increase its mood.
You're Bald doesn't produce or drain any energy when happy and only drains a moderate amount of energy when distressed. The only way to make it to produce energy is finishing works with a bald employee.
You're Bald's mood gauge is divided into 2 sections, distressed and happy. Under the 50%, it will feel distressed and above it, will be happy.
- "You've got a You're Bald...Beam, because your hair is still silky."
- "Unless employees with the You're Bald...beam are working on the You're Bald..., all of the other employees' hair will fall out and become bald this month."
- "It's not too late. 30.. 29.. 28..."
Strategy[edit | edit source]
You're Bald is a very easy Abnormality since the only condition that it wants is that the agent performing a work is bald, and if is not, it will turn them bald. It doesn't make anything harmful and the worst it does is drain energy.
You're Bald will increase its mood and produce a lot of energy if the agent who perform the work is bald, which can be any kind of work. It is recommended to always keep performing works with it to produce tons of energy at no risk.
The ability of You're Bald could be annoying if the player cares about the aspect of their employees, but beside that, there's nothing to worry about it. If a non bald agent tries to perform a work with it the first time, the Abnormality will make it bald, drop its mood and changing in appearance, along with the agent leaving. If it happens a second time, every employee in the department will become bald too. With one bald employee performing works with it will be enough to keep producing energy, but with all the employees being bald makes it more easy to perform works with it.
Observations[edit | edit source]
|Observation Level||Work Success Rate||Mood Decrease Rate||Basic Mood Rating||
Unlocked Ability Entries (Total)
Unlocked Encyclopedia Entries (Total)
|Preferences Learned||Energy Production Learned|
|1||+10%||-15%||50%||1||1 + Abnormality Name + Portrait + Risk Level||Neutral: Nutrition, Cleanliness, Consensus, Amusement, Violence||
Happy: None Distressed: Moderate-
|2||+10%||-30%||50%||2 + Name||3||None||None|
Final Observation[edit | edit source]
|This abnormality is filled with dreams of bald people.
Are you balding, or already bald?
|Lobotomy welcomes you.||Then do you wish to be bald?|
|You turned on your electric hair clipper.
Lobotomy welcomes you.
|Come back after watching Fast and Furious 7 for more than five times.|
|OBSERVATION SUCCESS||OBSERVATION FAIL|
Encyclopedia Entries[edit | edit source]
- "Warning: You have taken baldy-bald mental damage. If this article is read by non-bald individual, they will have privilege of getting bald. If you want to stop this from happening, you must be assigned to work on this abnormality. If you find more than 10 strands of hair on the pillow in the morning, it is recommended to read this article 3 or more times."
- "Bill: I had an amazing dream today.
XX : What kind of dream? Did you win a lottery or something?
Bill : Everyone here was bald! James, you, and everyone else in this facility! And maybe everyone outside of this facility!
XX : Uh......I think you've been stressed a lot recently. Why don't you take counseling?
Employee Bill was sacrificed to The Singing Machine that day. Many employees mourned for him. Right after the incident, abnormality Bald-Is-Awesome! has appeared. We all cherish memories of Bald Bill."
- "If a person is contacted by this abnormality, for 1 hour, they talk or write about how being bald is good, and eventually, they make themselves bald. If you're bald, you can save time because you don't have to wash and dry your hair anymore. If a bald employee is assigned to this abnormality, it will not show any reaction. You don't have to worry about balding if you are bald. On the other hand, if a hairy employee is assigned to this abnormality, they will start shaving their own hair. Bald people can reflect light on their smooth head and blind opponents, isn't it amazing?! This abnormality's final goal is to make every single human being on this earth bald. You don't need light bulbs if there are a lot of bald people because lights reflect on their heads; you can save electricity bill! If hairy employees are not assigned to this abnormality regularly, its mood status will decrease. Do you know that nobles in middle age Europe were all bald? They changed their wig every day!"
- "And we added some new rules to the company code of behavior. EmployeesF"
- "kers who mock their co-workers for being bald will be permanently banned from using lounge, and joining company debated club "Why don't bald Barbies exist?", Gourmet club "Lovely Octopus", and environmental movement club "We are worried about decreasing number of Bald Eagle". The ban will be lifted if the employee's number of hair strand goes below 1.
In memory of employee T.H, who is taking anti-balding medicine next to me right now."
Flavour Text[edit | edit source]
- "Employee <name> starts to feel that hair is just a burden."
- "Employee <name> starts to think that tattoo on bald head would look really cool."
- "Employee <name> starts taking off his/her wig because he/she feels proud of partial balding."
- "Bald people oddly look professional even if they are just doing trivial things!"
- "And still you have your silky hair?"
- "Bald people don't have to worry about clogged drain!"
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- You're Bald probably could be a 'Joke' abnormality, due to its release date (April 3) was near April Fools' Day.